I’ve come to point where I am completely at lost and I don’t mean like I don’t know what to do cause I do it’s just a hard choice. It’s fucked when your own happiness can be and is affected by outside influences and more so when those influences are so called love ones claiming to love and care about you. I have always been bad at self care and anything that falls under it like self love and protection I seem to always allow the wrong people to hold so much control over my life. I love to love and I try to see the good in everyone but sometimes I end up trying to create the good where it doesn’t exist. After all these years I am finally breaking I’m drained and broken I have nothing else to give not even energy or heart I am having a hard time seeing anything good coming from this if I don’t get out now this bullshit is going to kill me it’s killing my. Spirit draining my soul and scrambling my mind and for what for a man who says he loves me but who breaks me down daily hurts me accuses me and blames me for everything that goes wrong this is not love this toxic and dangerous and I need to get out

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