egg doner

i guess neither thought this day would come thats fair to say judging by history we share and the past were from our relation is a rare one not one that is seen everyday and not too many are able to understand the details of our interaction but thats cause no one knows our story theyll only ever know a tiny fraction a small piece of the puzzle but no matter how much is already but together no one will ever know just the fuck the pictrue is i can only speak for myself but i dont even really know what if any deep meaining there is to the fact our paths ever crossed other then the fact that you gave me birth we dont fit into each others lives we dont get along or agree on anything we dont think alike act alike feel alike or even respond alike we are so opisite of one another and i dont know if that is wroung or if its my fault for not looking past the past that led me to this maybe i am not following the rules of a child but to be fair you never followed the rules of a mother either. now i want to stop and take a min to say this

this is not intended to be a poor me or bash on the one whos body carried me and brought me into this world this isnt to see who is wroung or at fault rather this post is for me its for me to get everything that i have held bottled up inside out its to tie lose ends state my take and stance on the matter so that i can put this to rest for good and to ensure that i never feel a need to reopen the hole i bury it in

ohkay moving on i know that i can do and say things in a not so i guess normal or human way what can i say im not normal and sometimes i dont even know if im human im broken im young and unguided i lack knowing how to with a lot of things but i am doing the best that i can with what i got which isnt much my whole life all ive ever had was bullshit trama and drama abuse and pain and who i ever had was just me at the end of the day its always been just me

even as a kid i had to short things out on my own from the day you gained control of my life you through me in the ocean and i had to learn how to swim { which by the way i still to this day dont know how to} if i wanted to live i had to fight and there was no mercy on me not for being helpless not for being a kid not for being small sick and weak not for being hurt NOTHING and NOONE showed me mercy not even you why? why were you so…. damaging hurtful and careless you have 3 kids why was i the one you choose to empathy your anger on why did i have to on your wounds why did i have to pay for any and all wrong hurt mistake or whatever that you ever exprienced either to you or by you why WHY ?????? i dont want to hear your respose not today not tomorrow not ever what once held so much power over me i no longer hold on to i dont need to know want you to think about or dont it makes no diference to me but at least this giving you another chance to work this out on your end for your growth

why was i your fav toy to torrmnt how could you do all the things you did im not going to bother going into them you and i and god know what hororr of a childhood i had and what i went through and i am damn impressed and proud of myself for even just being here to write this post ….. im sorry but i need to take a break

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.